danke rene und
ja ich war da und ja ich hab ein bier getrunken und nein mein mutter hatte mit der ganzen sache nichts zu tun
zyniker= Schuft, dessen mangelhafte Wahrnehmung Dinge sieht, wie sie sind, statt wie sie sein sollten.
Ambrose Bierce
Aber wieso denn?
Axel, vergiss es mann, du bist raus!
"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named 'Bush', 'Dick', and 'Colon.'Need I say more?"
10 Most Famous Uses of [shudder] the dreaded "F word"
10. "What the fuck was that?" - Mayor Of Hiroshima, 1945
9. "Look at all them fucking Indians!" - Custer, 1877
8. "Any fucking idiot could understand that." - Einstein, 1938
7. "It does so fucking look like her!" - Picasso, 1926
6. "How the fuck did you work that out?" - Pythagorus, 126 BC
5. "You want WHAT on the fucking ceiling?" - Michelangelo, 1566
4. "Where the fuck are we?" - Amelia Earhart, 1937
3. "Scattered fucking showers....My ass!" - Noah, 4314 BC
2. "Aw c'mon. Who the fuck's going to find out?" - Bill Clinton,1999
And number 1 . . . drum roll.........................
1. "Geez, I didn't think they'd get this fucking mad." - Saddam Hussein, March 19, 2003
AMBER ALERT
U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft was visiting an elementary school. After speaking for 15 minutes, he said, "I will now answer any questions you have."
Bobby stood up and said: "I have four questions:
1. How did Bush win the election with fewer votes than Gore?
2. Why haven't you caught Osama bin Laden?
3. Why are you using the American Patriot Act to destroy civil liberties?
4. Where are the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq?"
Just then the bell went off and the kids were sent out to play. Upon returning, Mr. Ashcroft said: "I am sorry we were interrupted. I will now answer any questions you have."
A little girl named Julie stood up and said: "I have six questions:
1. How did Bush win the election with fewer votes than Gore?
2. Why haven't you caught Osama bin Laden?
3. Why are you using the American Patriot Act to destroy civil liberties?
4. Where are the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq?
5. Why did the bell ring 20 minutes early?
6. Where is Bobby?"
HOW TO BECOME A REPUBLICAN
1) You have to believe that the nation's 8-year prosperity prior to W's administration was due to the work of Ronald Reagan and George H. Bush, but that today's growing deficit and rising gas prices are all Clinton's fault.
7) You love Jesus and Jesus loves you and, by the way, Jesus shares your hatred of AIDS victims, homosexuals, and former President Clinton.
11) You have to believe it is wise to keep condoms out of schools, because we all know if teenagers don't have condoms they won't have sex.
One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. "Why are you eating grass?", he asked one man.
"We don't have any money for food.", the poor man replied.
"Oh, come along with me then", says the lawyer.
"But sir, I have a wife with two children!"
"Bring them along! And you, come with us too!", he said to the other man.
"But sir, I have a wife with six children!" the second man answered
"Bring them as well", says the lawyer. They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo. Once underway, one of the poor fellows says,"Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you."
The lawyer replied, "No problem, the grass at my home is about two feet tall."
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...Does that mean the fifth one enjoys it?
Ihr Wichser!!! Ihr sollt euch hier beschimpfen und keine englischen Anekdoten erzählen! Ihr rafft ja garnix, ihr Trottel!!!!!!!!!!